WHAT 2020 TAUGHT ME

2020 is going to be a year that I remember for the rest of my life.  Although I am relieved to wake up and see the first day of 2021 has arrived, I have a lot to be grateful for as I reflect upon the year past.  I can say with confidence that it was a year that brought me so much growth.  The experiences, the good times and the bad, the challenges, the unknown, it all allowed me the opportunity to pause, learn, reflect, and appreciate this life that I have been given.  Before I dive into 2021 with a fresh mindset, new goals, and big dreams, I wanted to share some of the things I have learned this past year.  Let’s start from the beginning. 

It was January 1st, 2020, and I spent the day setting intentions and goals.  I picked my “word” for the year which was PERSEVERANCE.  I set my goals, the main one being to launch this blog, along with the usual eat healthy, exercise more, and so on.  I spent January putting my health and my work first, enjoying time with Caleb, going to Timberwolves games, and spending time with friends.  Then Kobe & GiGi Bryant, along with all of the others, were killed in that helicopter crash.  It felt like the world had stopped. 

I wrote this on my Instagram:

The death of Kobe hit me differently; I can’t quite get passed it. We grow up hearing the names of athletes and celebrities, we know who they are, we watch them on TV, we see their families in the media, but we don’t really think about the impact their passing will have on us someday. We grow up with them, so they’re supposed to stick around for at least most of our lifetime, right? After learning about his death yesterday, particularly the way it happened, I experienced a sense of shock that felt surreal. Then I learned that Gigi was with him, and I couldn’t stop thinking about Vanessa. Vanessa met Kobe when she was 17. I met Caleb when I was 17. Him and I have grown up together. Year after year, things keep getting better. We get smarter, love harder, continue to make memories, and look forward to our future. Thinking about spending the next 15 years with him, having four beautiful children together, and then one day losing not only my best friend and the person I love, but my child as well, to a circumstance such as this is a thought I cannot wrap my head around; it would be nearly impossible to bear. I don’t talk about my faith often, but for this woman, this family, and all of the other families involved, I pray. I pray so hard. This is a tough one to grasp as I look at the images of every single person involved. Hug your loved ones. Tell them what they mean to you. And my goodness, stop holding on to grudges and hate. This life is way too precious. 

That brought my first big lesson.  Appreciate this life and tell others you love them.  Period.  You never know when your life will change forever.

Then, a couple of months later, COVID officially hit Minnesota.  We didn’t realize the severity at first, but once we started to hear more and more about it and see the case numbers increase, the reality began to sink it.  Stores were sold out of everything, the world was in a panic, and after some planning with my team, I began working from home.  We were all officially in quarantine. 

This period of time taught me a lot.  One big lesson I learned was this.  Your mental health is important.  Being alone and in isolation can be detrimental to your mental health, and I had many days where my anxiety had reached new levels.  I began putting routines and actions into place that helped me overcome, or at least manage, my anxiety.  (I plan to write a post on that soon!)

By the time my birthday came in May, I felt ready to finally launch my blog.  I was at a good place, I had my routines down, I had been crushing my health and fitness goals, and I thought the second half of the year would be much better than the first.  I launched this, The Hygge Journal, and I had a whole list of topics that I planned to write about. But then, just two days later, George Floyd was killed in Minneapolis. 

This threw an extremely unexpected curveball into an already strange year.  The day he was killed, I woke up and heard it on the news.  As the day went on, I decided Caleb and I needed to go to Cup Foods and pay our respects.  We masked up, hopped in the car, and drove a couple of miles across town.  What we saw was emotional yet so powerful.  We witnessed so much pain, so much heartache, and an awful lot of love.  At the time, I didn’t realize what was yet to unfold.

Over the next couple of weeks, it felt as if we lived in an alternate reality.  Our days were spent watching the news, reading all the articles, and driving around our city.  At night we would sit on our roof outside our bedroom window and watch the city around us literally burn.  We would wake up and do it all over again… We would walk down the street and see the community coming together to clean up, support each other, and move forward the best they could.  We engaged in peaceful protests, we volunteered, we documented our experiences and shared them on social media, and we had a lot of conversations.  Conversations about what it looks like to be born a white, straight, individual in the United States.  Conversations about racism, justice, and how WE can do our part to make the world a better place for our future children. 

This will be a period of time in my life that I will never forget.

To outsiders, it may have just looked like a huge shit show in Minneapolis.  I am not here to change your mind. I am here to speak on my experiences and what I learned from this awful yet pivotal moment in my life.

I learned that EMPATHY MATTERS.  Without putting ourselves in others’ shoes, we will never be able to connect with others and understand what they are going through. 

I learned that KINDNESS MATTERS.  I walked through my neighborhood and watched grown men that have lived here their whole lives break down bawling over what our city had gone through.  There was devastation but there was also compassion.  There was destruction but there was also healing.

And finally, I learned that surrounding yourself with the right people is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your future.  I lost friendships over my stance on George Floyd.  I lost “friends” and “followers” over my stance on George Floyd.  And I received hate over my stance on George Floyd.  At the end of the day, none of that matters.  What matters is that I choose to surround myself with people and friends and community and colleagues who practice kindness, empathy, compassion, and who choose joy even on the darkest days.

With that said, I had a hard time keeping up with my writing throughout the remainder of 2020. Everything felt so heavy. And although I had good times and growth, nothing felt worthy of writing about. My hope is that I can begin to write more and share more with all of you in this new year. As we all know, we are still experiencing COVID and we will never go back to “normal”, but I’ve learned that normal isn’t the goal anyway.  I don’t want to go back to what normal was.  I want to move forward into a year that is filled with GOOD.  I want to appreciate all of the moments this year brings me, even the mundane ones.  I want to celebrate this life and all the people in it when we are able to do so safely.  I want to continue standing up for what I believe to be right.  And I want to continue doing everything I can to make this world a better place, a place that is filled with love and light. 

In closing, as I reflect on 2020, I think my word of the year was pretty fitting.  I persevered.  We all did.  We took what was handed to us, all of those unknowns, and we pushed through.  If you have read to the end, know I appreciate you and I love you and I am here for you.  Let’s set those goals, dream big, take what we’ve learned, and make 2021 the best year yet.

Cheers, friends!

xx, jamie

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